Monday, March 23, 2009



HE is coming.

THE Ferran Adria.

If you don't know who this is, then let me give you a hint:


Not the shit. But THE SHIT. Capital S-H-I-T.

This guy runs arguably the best restaurant in the world. THE WORLD. Not best restaurant in Spain. Not best restaurant in Europe. But the whole freaking world. A big claim you say? Well if you can single-handedly revolutionize the way people thought about food and cooking the way Heisenberg and Schrodinger revolutionized physics with quantum mechanics, then by all means, take the title. I mean, for chrissakes, this man runs his restaurant at a loss and he is still thought of as the best chef in the world.

Wait, what was that? AT A LOSS? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?

How in the world does a man that charges over 250 EUROS for a meal at the best restaurant in the world lose money, and yet still make enough money to run it?

Cook books and lectures.

His elBulli series "books" (read: massive tomes) go for on average 130 EUROS. I can't imagine what he charges to speak for an hour. I bet he could shave his face and sell the shavings at a price higher than saffron threads.

Anyway, this man is like a chef demi-god. He is probably lightyears ahead of everyone else the way he thinks about food. Although called the godfather of molecular gastronomy, a name give to modern, untraditional means of cooking by pretentious and condescending food geeks (technically all cooking is molecular gastronomy), he himself hates the word and rejects what it implies.

When you hear about molecular gastronomy or had its derivatives for a meal, often times the food serves as vehicle to show off a particular technique. But Adria is the opposite. He only uses a technique as the vehicle to show off a particular food. He will search for a way to get to the essence of a dish or ingredient and often times, conventional means are not sufficient. So what does he do instead? He simply invents a way to achieve his goal, never losing sight of what it's all about...the food. Now that's a chef.

Anyway, as you can tell I'm pretty psyched about him coming to our campus for the first time ever in the history of the CIA and hopefully I will get to see him and shake his hand and then blush and giggle like a middle school girl who just got a note from a friend saying that Billy the captain of the basketball team wants to meet her after school.

So to conclude this unabashed, ass-kissing admiration for Adria, the demi-god of chefs, I will give a short list of his other accomplishments:

- Adria once challenged Bobby Fischer, Gary Kasparov, and Big Blue to a chess match, and then checkmated all of them at once with a single salted, sardine.
- The real reason Dr. House has a cane is because he once gave Adria a wrong diagnosis, who then proceeded to crush him so hard with: "You idiot" that his leg collapsed underneath the sheer humiliation and awe.
- Adria created a food so awesome that even he could not eat. But he ate it anyway and become even more awesome.
- Adria actually solved the world economic crisis several months ago by making a recipe with only a leek, a fermented egg, and a sweet potato. But after realizing doing so would make his restaurant earn a profit and ultimately destroy the world by upsetting the fabric of his loss-profit paradox, he invented a kitchen tool with the power to travel back in time and killed his past self with a whisk right before he made the recipe. The slick bastard.

Feel free to post any other Adria accomplishments you have heard and I'll add them to the list.


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